[re]discovering grace

"Amazing grace how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost

But now am found

Was blind but now I see"

I can't tell you how many times I have heard this refrain. So many people would tell me this was their favorite song, and no matter how many times they hear it, it would move them to tears.

I never felt that way about this song.

Sure, it sounded nice and had a good message, but I never felt the emotional gravity of it the way others seemed to. I never knew what it meant to feel "wretched", so I didn't understand the sweetness of this melody. I never felt so lost and blind that the miraculous sight of Jesus brought tears to my eyes.

Granted, I had struggles. I had hard times, but it always seemed like Jesus pulled me out right before that point of being lost. Sometimes I wished He hadn't so that I could feel the fullness of His grace. I wanted to know what those lyrics meant, and what that felt like.

Grace was always an aspect of God's character I couldn't wrap my head around. In Bible studies, people would ask us to define grace, and I didn't know what to say. When someone is graceful, they are calm, cool, and collected. I think of a princess walking gracefully down the palace stairs, with one hand gently grasping the railing as it slides along with her, should she fall. Her steps are so careful and measured, she places it there more for the appearance of stability and balance, even though she knows she won't fall. Or a ballerina dancing on stage. She is working undetectably hard underneath the tule and glitter, but she would not dare show it, Instead, she prances around the stage, as if she is weightless, telling a story without words through the carefully crafted motions of her body alone. To me, this was grace. It was all of the work that goes on behind the scenes, only to be presented as effortless, and this definition did not accurately translate into my Biblical understanding of the concept.

Recently, I have been pouring into Paul's epistles, namely Romans, Galatians, and Ephesians. He talks frequently about salvation by grace, not works, as if they are polar opposites. To me, the definition of grace was tied into works. You spent hours practicing in the studio and at the balance beam in order to execute a dance routine gracefully. You spend years learning proper etiquette, speech, and posture, in order to present yourself effortlessly to the kingdom. You do the work in order to be graceful. But now, Paul is saying that is not so.

"For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God; it is not from works, so that no one can boast" - Ephesians 2:8-9

"For sin will have no mastery over you, because you are not under law but under grace" -

Romans 6:14

"I do not set aside God's grace, because if righteousness could come through the law, then Christ died for nothing!" - Galatians 2:21

Grace is not the result of works. Grace is a gift given by faith. This is the faith we have that Jesus died so that we would never have to taste the vengeance of hell that by our works (which are of course flawed, because we are imperfect humans), but rather we are saved from the fire by a love that is bigger than fear and death. The love that gives life and life abundantly against all odds by the creator of the universe Himself. This amazing grace is the assurance that even though we may stumble and fall, we will never be too far from the love of the God who calls us His beloved children

And we don't have to do anything to deserve this. We just have to let Him love us.

Therefore, the Biblical understanding of grace is seen through the lens of forgiveness, redemption, and love, and not through works, appearances, or perfection. Grace is the understanding that we are not perfect, but we don't have to be, and God loves us no matter what. We trust His sovereignty over our own power to control and believe in faith that all things are in His hands, including ourselves.

After so many years, I am finally beginning to understand the significance of this concept. The world tells us we have to be perfect and perform in order to be valuable, but God tells us a different story. He tells us that we were made with value, and we don't have to prove our worth to Him, we just have to have faith in His power and love and we let Him display that power and love in our own lives and we let it transform us.

In a time when many have felt stuck, unproductive, alone and forgotten, this message of grace has resonated even deeper. God doesn't love me any less when I'm working a 9-5 job than when I was on the mission field. He doesn't extend any less grace when I made mistakes in college than when I was leading worship every Sunday in high school. His grace is steadfast. It is a deep well that never runs dry. It is the living water that will never leave us wanting for more. Peace can be found only when we can rest assured in God's promises of who He is and what He is doing, and that no matter what, we are loved immensely by the God of the universe,

This grace was always here under my nose, but I never fully grasped it. And now I have tasted and seen that it is good, and I plan on rooting myself right next to the deep waters of grace so that I will never forget the peace that comes from trusting in God's work above my own.